Essays in Idleness

Before voting in the referendum on secession from the United Kingdom, Pat Robertson implored ye Scots to ask, “What would Braveheart do?”

For an opponent of “democracy,” I spend too much time studying election results. I see that “No” swept all the old Gaelic and rural constituencies; and Aberdeen, where they have some private enterprise; and Edinburgh, where many of the inhabitants are educated. Dundee, however, broke from the pack, and voted “Yes” by a margin. (It is the Fallujah of Scotland.) And of course, “Yes” took Glasgow and Environs, where half the population are psychotic (regardless of race, creed, colour, or political affiliation).

Like most pseudo-Scots, I was for “Yes” myself; especially after Mr Fish Eyes assured us that he’d keep the Queen. I gave my reasons last week: essentially, the more flags the better. Did not even ask for the return of the Stuarts.

Indeed, the referendum result is a disaster. In return for the scare, Westminster politicians of all stripes now plan more tampering with the British Constitution. More “devolution” as they call it, by which they mean, more bureaucratic layering. And the Scots have learnt what our Quebeckers taught themselves: that the threat of secession may be used to make them pull their spigots and vent their welfare casks.

The sight of the Lairds of London telling ye Scots how much they love them, and making their expensive promises — on behalf of English, Welsh, and Orange Irish who had not been consulted — is what we should retain as “the lesson of democracy.” It is government by sleazy politicians. Braveheart would have slain the lot.