Essays in Idleness

A strong argument could be made against sending any sort of donation for the support of this Idle website, and its miserable (if madly gleeful) author. Rather, arguments, in the plural, for he often thinks of new ones. Today is the day of his annual “Black Friday” appeal for donations. Think of that: you could just say, “No!”

It is a dreadful nuisance. Once every year, he begs.

Yet he himself finds every sort of electronic banking to be a cause of bewilderment and irritation. He sacked PayPal after an altercation last winter, crawling back to them on hands and knees only after his donations flatlined. They and other transporters of cash usually charge a fee, invisible to the sender but quite apparent to the receiver. This may be only a dollar or five, but how dare they charge for their services? (Moneygrubbing capitalists, dontcha know!)

And if you send a cheque (“check” to the Mericans) you must fill it out carefully, find an envelope and what is worse, a stamp. That may not sound like much imposition, until you realize that you have run out of one or the other; and (if you are Canadian) the postmen have been on their near-statutory, pre-Christmas “rotating strike.” (We remember them from childhood, when the whole post office was under the union control of angry immigrant Scottish Marxists.)

But even before this, what is the point? The author may live well below the official “poverty line” in his jurisdiction, but he has been turning out this rubbish for more than six years, without the slightest indication that he will stop if his donations disappear. He must be a graphomaniac. He has no way to enforce payment, and from his snooty tone, he acts as if he were above it all. He even says so, in phrases such as, “Up here in the High Doganate.”…  Et cetera.

And have you noticed that he is some sort of reactionary, Catholic nutjob? Probably has a Rosary in his pocket. Before he was removed from the “mainstream media” there were innumerable complaints about his “conservative” opinions, including allegations of “human rights” violations such as political incorrectitude. The only reason he wasn’t silenced by a tribunal was their fussy requirement for evidence. But that’s changing now.

So, what if the police traced your donation, and arrested you the day after him? What would your wife say? Or your husband, should that be the case? You’d feel pretty silly, no? And the neighbours, when the men in blue come to take you away? Imagine them gathered in your front yard, shouting, “No free speech for fascists!” Possibly trampling your garden.

Moreover, he is getting old. He freely admits to being sixty-five. What if he dies while your payment is in transit? How will you get your money back, then?

There are so many reasons not to donate. For even if you’re Catholic, you should be told that this guy does not worship the pope, and is against all the recent changes in Church teaching. Nor does he worship “The Spirit of Vatican II.” He is a Latin Mass type, and what they call a Traditionalist. You know what that means: the Spanish Inquisition! How can you encourage such an enemy of Progress?

Someone once called him on television, “A man of the thirteenth century,” and how did he respond? By going all weepy and thanking his critic for “the nicest compliment I have ever received.”

Your kids need more toys for Christmas. You have other bills to pay. Maybe you are running an overdraught. And there’s some good sales on: it’s Black Friday after all.

I know for a fact that this “Otiosus” (what cheek!) is down to his last few ducats. At this rate he’ll be defaulting on rent by midwinter. He belongs on the street. Time to starve him out.

The donations button is at the top right. Do yourself a favour: ignore it.

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Another of this fellow’s effete rambles over at Catholic Thing today. (Here.)