Essays in Idleness

While I love the man, I must admit Donald Trump is a bit of a savage. I’d hardly let him into a meeting of my Borborygmatic Society, and while I might follow him up a creek on a fishing expedition, my understanding is that he prefers golf. (All the real savages do.) I watched him “debate” a certain “Joe Biden” the other night, and he was true to form. It was a first round knock-out. I know the meejah didn’t tell you this, but I will, being an expert in pugilism, which I studied when I was an adolescent, for a while.

Those Lefties should listen to Michelle Obama. She understands. She said Mr Trump “did it on purpose.” He was rude and abrasive and constantly interrupting. He has a voice and presence that is intimidating, even at Batflu distance, and he wouldn’t give that little Biden fellow an even break. He was also able to out-cancel Biden’s sparring partner, a certain “Chris Wallace,” and make him eat his “rules.”

Not everyone has a taste for this — I certainly don’t — but that’s why Mr Trump is President. The electoral public is unpredictable this year; too many things have happened that they are not used to; but if Trump wins by the landslide I expect (minus corrupt mail-in ballots), it will be because, as usual, electors vote for the strongman. This has nothing to do with policy, alas. If, for instance, one consults the history of general elections, one will find that the taller candidate almost always wins. (This is why so few women make it to the top.)

One’s commander-in-chief is one’s leader in battle. When in battles, one prefers to win. Life is a battle, get used to it, cissies.

Too, the voters like Trump (the broad majority) because he doesn’t lie, at least not that knowingly. He blusters. He says things that are simplified until they aren’t quite technically correct, and he repeats these things over and over, but they aren’t exactly lies. Whereas Mr Biden, for instance, has been telling little whoppers, and repeating those, to a complacent meejah, for as long as he has been practising politics, i.e. since before he was born. I noticed his pants igniting repeatedly, because I know some of the facts he was openly contradicting. His curriculum vitae is a string of little fibs. He also makes mistakes, that are egregious, but that’s not against the law for a politician. The point is, Biden lies smoothly, and naturally, like a good Democrat.

Moreover, Trump is an entertaining stand-up comic, and tells lots of good belly-laugh jokes, including self-deprecating ones, that humourless Lefties just can’t understand. But normal people can.

Let this not distract us from the fact that Trump is, overall, brash, crude, and a bully. Putting on my old tinfoil hat as a hack prognosticator, I think that’s why he is going to win, even though the Merican public is in a mood, or perhaps because they are. Few are so foolish as to tell a pollster, or any other “progressive,” that they intend to vote Republican — there are costs involved — but there you go. I don’t believe the polls any more than I believe the Batflu numbers. (I do believe dead people are dead, however.)