Essays in Idleness

I have resigned as your commentator on political affairs in the Great White North, to which I had been foolishly tempted by living here. The smugness of my countrymen! … who have done nothing of which I could be proud, since they beat the USSR in the eighth game of the 1972 hockey series. But by reversing the repulsive nationalist slogan that is used to sell inferior Canadian goods (“the world needs more Canada”) I am once again in danger of being confused with Donald Trump. It does not follow that because I want less Canada, I want more of the United States. Also, electric cars and rocket ships to Mars: less is more.

The problem with being against things, is that you are presumed to be in favour of their opposites. This is not the case with me. I can oppose both junk food, and health food. My apparent support for America’s Republicans is a tactical position. I want them to destroy as much of their bureaucratic state as should be possible, although I would not wish them to close their military shops until they have closed China’s.

Socialism is invariably a great evil, but nationalism is potentially worse. If we all agreed to go about our business, and tend our own gardens like Voltaire, we would not have the time for either.